For a hockey mom, every hockey season is a little different, every week during the hockey season is a little different and every game is a little different. Yet somehow the season settles into a predictable albeit hectic routine of “Eat, Sleep, Hockey.”
Therefore, there are certain phrases that I find I are either heard or expressed on a regular basis that are exclusive to hockey. And so I bring you:
The Top Ten Phrases a Hockey Mom must Master
1. “I’ll take a double-double please!”
Yes, coffee is universal in hockey and Tim Horton’s is universal to coffee. If I had a dollar for every time I ordered a double-double either for myself or for my fellow hockey moms, I’d spend it all on more double-doubles! However, this phrase should not be confused with the next important phrase a hockey mom must master…
2. “Make mine a double”
… is what you will say at the team dinner at an out of town hockey tournament.
3. “Forfeit is so an F-word - now get in the car!”
While I may have infinite patience while my kids dilly-dally with their dinner or their Call of Duty game, their coach will not. Without a goalie, the team will either forfeit or suit up a player (if they have extra equipment!). This F-Word is a bad, bad word in hockey. Don’t make me say it.
4. “Sock over your skates or tucked into your skates?”
Players, no matter what level of hockey, have a very particular way of managing their hockey socks. As I tie skates in the dressing room, I always ask because it just might be a game changer!!
5. “Put your mouth guard in its case!”
Sounds so simple but when I think of all the places I’ve actually found my kids’ mouth guards… well… never mind.
6. “Don’t forget your stick!”
For some reason, it seems so natural for kids to put their hockey bag in the car but equally as natural for them to forget to put their hockey stick in the car. As a hockey mom, you should know by now to check to make sure that the hockey stick or goalie stick is actually making the trip along with you. (If not, hopefully your GPS will guide you to the nearest sporting goods store.)
7. “The Zamboni is on the ice!”
(And this phrase is usually is preceded by a loud bang on the change room door!)!
In my experience as a hockey mom, the coaches don’t go into the dressing room until the Zamboni is on the ice which is typically ten minutes before game time. As a Den Mom in the girls change room, this is my quit-your-gabbing-and-finish-getting-dressed-now-or-suffer-the-consequences battle call.
8. “Slushie or hot chocolate?”
Ah, the classic post-game question! A quintessential hockey mom phrase!
9. “You can’t play mini-sticks here!”
While it is great that kids are so active, plastic mini-sticks and their foam pucks and living rooms with vases and framed photos do not go hand-in-hand (nor hotel hallway light fixtures for that matter!)
10.“I’m so proud of you!”
Ultimately, this is the most important phrase a hockey mom should express. Unless of course, your child whacked another player over the head with his or her hockey stick, in which case “Yes, I’m angry and I’m disappointed!” works even better.
Now that I’ve reread my top 10 list, I notice that none of these phrases are articulated during an actual hockey game. I guess there’s a whole different language for that!
What are some of your favourite hockey mom phrases?
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