As a child, I never had a Christmas stocking. It simply wasn’t a
cultural norm for my family growing up. Even when we married, my husband
and I would forego this treasured Christmas tradition in favour of more
practical necessities of a new life together. When we started to have
kids, however, I was indoctrinated to the ins and outs of the Christmas
stocking by my husband and he insisted they be part of the emerging
Christmas traditions for our three children.
Christmas a mere few days away, Santa has carefully selected all the
stocking stuffers that will fill my kids’ stockings this year and I’ve
been thinking that perhaps Santa should consider filling a stocking for
We all know that a hockey mom is
prepared for just about anything but it never hurts to help her be extra
prepared, right? I got to thinking about what a hockey mom might wish
for in her Christmas stocking. So Santa, listen up! I made myself a wish
list and there’s no need to check it twice. I promise I’ve been a
really good girl and here’s what I’m hoping I will find in my stocking
on Christmas morning...
1. A Get Out of 6:00AM Practice Free card (but seriously for free; no strings attached!)
2. A Budweiser Red Light key chain that is synced to my own kids goals, wherever they may be playing!
3. A hockey deodorizer that really works (I mean seriously, why can’t someone invent this for real?).
4. Battery-operated heated gloves (and while I’m wishing, let’s go for the boot warmers too!).
electronic monitoring system (not unlike a house arrest ankle bracelet)
that beeps when younger siblings step out of your designated ‘safe
zone’ (any mom would want this!).
6. A remote car starter (one that is able to penetrate the two feet of concrete at the local hockey arena!) (and alert me to where I actually parked my car!).
7. A fifth of Fireball whiskey (for no reason at all).
8. A Tim’s card (because apparently it’s not appropriate to drink Fireball Whiskey so early in the morning!).
9. A discreet portable device that makes appropriate small talk with people when too tired to talk to anyone.
10. A portable iPhone charger (or an iPhone whose battery doesn’t die just before the penalty shot of the year!)
course, Santa, if there’s any room left I would also love a prepaid
skate sharpening card, a vial of Extra Strength Tylenol, a new cowbell,
emergency neon-coloured skate laces, a roll of hockey tape or five, a
couple of gas cards and a Hotties of the NHL wall calendar (Oops! Was that out loud?). I will even leave you some cookies, a glass of milk and a hockey puck!
these would all be very nice but in the end all I really want for
Christmas is Peace on Earth – or peace in the end zone after a whistle –
whichever is easier.
Merry Christmas to all the hockey moms – may your Christmas stocking be filled with your favourite hockey mom treats!