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Mom Mondays: Top Ten Stocking Stuffers for a Hockey Mom

 

As a child, I never had a Christmas stocking. It simply wasn’t a cultural norm for my family growing up. Even when we married, my husband and I would forego this treasured Christmas tradition in favour of more practical necessities of a new life together. When we started to have kids, however, I was indoctrinated to the ins and outs of the Christmas stocking by my husband and he insisted they be part of the emerging Christmas traditions for our three children.
 
With Christmas a mere few days away, Santa has carefully selected all the stocking stuffers that will fill my kids’ stockings this year and I’ve been thinking that perhaps Santa should consider filling a stocking for me too.
 
We all know that a hockey mom is prepared for just about anything but it never hurts to help her be extra prepared, right? I got to thinking about what a hockey mom might wish for in her Christmas stocking. So Santa, listen up! I made myself a wish list and there’s no need to check it twice. I promise I’ve been a really good girl and here’s what I’m hoping I will find in my stocking on Christmas morning...
 
1. A Get Out of 6:00AM Practice Free card (but seriously for free; no strings attached!)
 
2. A Budweiser Red Light key chain that is synced to my own kids goals, wherever they may be playing!
 
3. A hockey deodorizer that really works (I mean seriously, why can’t someone invent this for real?).
 
4. Battery-operated heated gloves (and while I’m wishing, let’s go for the boot warmers too!).
 
5. An electronic monitoring system (not unlike a house arrest ankle bracelet) that beeps when younger siblings step out of your designated ‘safe zone’ (any mom would want this!).
 
6. A remote car starter (one that is able to penetrate the two feet of concrete at the local hockey arena!) (and alert me to where I actually parked my car!).
 
7. A fifth of Fireball whiskey (for no reason at all).
 
8. A Tim’s card (because apparently it’s not appropriate to drink Fireball Whiskey so early in the morning!).
 
9. A discreet portable device that makes appropriate small talk with people when too tired to talk to anyone.
 
10. A portable iPhone charger (or an iPhone whose battery doesn’t die just before the penalty shot of the year!)
 
Of course, Santa, if there’s any room left I would also love a prepaid skate sharpening card, a vial of Extra Strength Tylenol, a new cowbell, emergency neon-coloured skate laces, a roll of hockey tape or five, a couple of gas cards and a Hotties of the NHL wall calendar (Oops! Was that out loud?). I will even leave you some cookies, a glass of milk and a hockey puck!
 
Yes, these would all be very nice but in the end all I really want for Christmas is Peace on Earth – or peace in the end zone after a whistle – whichever is easier.
 
Merry Christmas to all the hockey moms – may your Christmas stocking be filled with your favourite hockey mom treats!

Tags: minor hockey

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